goodnight i made you a song goodbye
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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