How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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