He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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