Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
