I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize