I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
