If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
