i think i have herpe
just one?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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