The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
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Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
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You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize