I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
