How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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