Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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