Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize