You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
