how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So much rum. So many feels.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
