it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My dick has a subreddit
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
