I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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