I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
