i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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