I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize