I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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