You can't special order awesome
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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