A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
