dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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