i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Don't make out with my wife yet
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
