If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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