I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
