so explain again why im purple
no
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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