That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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