its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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