If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
