I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
