Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
