Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
bring money and cleavage
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
