I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
organizing the empties. That sober.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
