I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
