he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just cropdusted the office
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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