Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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