Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
