Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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