I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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