She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Naked. naked and bneed help.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
