girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize