Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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