I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
