I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
