ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
