Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
