he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
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I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
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He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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