the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
handjob tips. give me some.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
