I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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