Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
