my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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