So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
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i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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