Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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