She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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