Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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