Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
