Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
