I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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