good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
