Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
