k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
