mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
