it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
